Monday, March 5, 2012
Dan tuned 34 on Saturday, and above are the remnants from the celebration. It's fun having sweets around the house, they're so pretty! Baked goods are so feminine. They make me infinitely happy. I thought I'd be all over them like a little bunny on carrots, and that I'd have to throw them away, but oddly, after sharing two cupcakes on Saturday, I had my fill. Now, I'm sending Dan to work each day with goodies for the other boys. I used to bake all the time, but stopped when I got the big C. Ever since I learned that sugar literally kills, I've cut back in a big way. It's awesome having the cupcakes and brownies around the house because it makes me feel warm, that our home is cozy and inviting. There's something about baking that just feels right, even when I've read that it's so wrong.
Things are good over here. Like I've mentioned before, we've been more relaxed about my diet which has been a lot less stressful. I'm very curious to find out at the next MRI if the high doses of artemether & sulforaphane cancel out my relaxed diet and still shrink old Hermie. It's all such an ebb and flow, there's never definitive answers until each MRI. We're walking in uncharted territory for the most part. I'm of the mindset that if Hermie grows, it will be because of my lax restrictions of sugar (sweets, wine, carbs, or things of that nature).
We were incredibly hard core from October until January. It was precise, and calculated. I can only function like that for a short while. I have to be bad, and live like a normal human from time to time. Anyway, we'll find out if I've been enjoying myself too much in about six weeks. It used to unnerve me, drive me nuts, always worrying about my choices, but luckily, with this type of brain cancer I have a lot of leeway compared to the further stages. According to the World Health Organization, "Individuals with grade 4 astrocytoma have a median survival time of 17 weeks without treatment." Jeez. Seventeen weeks is just past four months. Death? Yikes. If I was in that situation I wouldn't even play around with cheating on my diet, but since I'm not, I'm living my life allowing some happy foods, not just eating for health, but also happiness. It has taken me a bit to relax, and I might find on April 19th that it was a mistake, but hey, if I don't try it I'll never know.
I feel confident that I can cure my brain cancer, even though it isn't often accomplished. I probably sound crazy to some, maybe even to most, but just because others have heart breakingly failed, at no fault of their own I might add, doesn't mean that I will. And when I do beat this, I will find a way to dedicate my life to help others survive.